Change Sucks, 8 Steps To Never Have To Change Again… by Dr. Jay LaGuardia

Change Sucks!  8 Steps To Never Have To Change Again

Think of a time when you were faced with a major change in your life. How did it feel? If you are like most people it sucked! You felt fear because you were moving away from the known to the unknown. Change moves us away from our comfort zone. You may have felt anxious, anxious due to the fact change requires faith that things will hopefully workout. There are a myriad of potential emotions change can bring out of us.

The 8 Steps To Never Change

Step 1 – Do Nothing

Step 2 – Think Nothing

Step 3 – Feel Nothing

Step 4 – Try Nothing

Step 5 – Give Nothing

Step 6 – Quit Everything

Step 7 – Never Improve

Step 8 – Never Work or Grow at Anything

Sorry, as you might have guessed, There is No Way to Never Change Again without completely dropping out of life itself.  As tempting as never changing again may seem to be, embracing change is a necessary reality for anyone hoping to achieve better results in their business and life.  The very process of improvement requires that we change, change often, and change quickly.  Really those steps we just listed are pretty much only possible when we are dead, and that is the reality of life, change is absolute for as long as we are alive. So while we are unable to deliver on the title of this blog, We can offer….

How To Make Change Your Friend

I remember when “Embracing Change” was difficult for me. I used to resist change kicking and screaming along the way. I liked to be in control, I liked the routine and the comfort of the known. But then one day a major life event caused my world to change forever…and I suddenly liked change. I began to realize change could be fun, change provided new opportunities, changed created growth personally and professionally. Change became exciting and now I welcome change like a dog welcomes home its owner, enthusiastically. I wonder, because of our reluctance to change, how many of us our missing out on incredible life experiences and opportunities?

Let’s explore the 5 most common reasons people resist change.

1. We hate feeling uncomfortable

We’re creatures of habit. For the most part, we love routine. If something happens that takes us out of our routine it messes with our head. It makes us feel uncomfortable. We don’t like being uncomfortable. Being uncomfortable causes us stress and can illicit the body’s natural stress response. What’s the body’s stress response? This stress response will also cause us to experience negative thoughts. These thoughts are anchored by past memories when we were previously uncomfortable. These memories then create the negative emotions which are tied to that experience, which most of us want to avoid.

The illusion is, we believe our past experiences will define our future results. That is flat out BS. The reason is, who we were then is not who we are now therefore our future results don’t have to be the same if we have learned from our past experiences.  Example: When I moved to WI.

2. We don’t like feeling overwhelmed or stressed

When we are stressed and unfortunately that is far too often for most of us, stress becomes an obstacle for change and therefore growth. I want you to think about a time or perhaps in your current situation, when you’ve been totally stressed out, does change feel good? Of course not! So, when you’re feeling stressed is never a good time to consider making changes in your life. We are unable to think straight or rationally.

It has been my experience that when we are in a stressful environment that is tense or inundated with projects, the people in that environment will experience similar feelings. When this is the case, leaders have to be understanding of people’s complaints and attentive to their needs throughout the change process. Keep the reasoning for change front and center, and make the environment more conducive for future change.

3. We don’t like to leave the known for the unknown, even if we know it will make us better in the long run

By definition, implementing change is a departure from “Known” Look, the old way feels good, ironically even if it’s not good for us. This causes to hang on to the known at almost any cost. An example of this may be a bad relationship where the relationship feels hopeless in or it could be a dead-end career. Perhaps its letting go of old habits or behaviors that are no longer serving us. Like smoking or consuming to much alcohol, etc. Or even worse, toxic people or relationships that no longer serve us.

Example: I can recall when I first resisted implementing meditation into my morning routine which I knew could help me get over my anger issues. How crazy was that? I had read all the studies and done my homework on the effectiveness of mediation but because it was new behavior that the time I felt was quirky and awkward I wouldn’t allow myself to try something new, that I knew could help me. It was only when the pain of staying the same, was exceeded by the pain of change.

4. People lack trust in themselves or others to accept change

When we suffer from low self-esteem or we lack trust in the people around us, we struggle with change. So, embracing change does require some self-confidence, belief and faith. Having faith is not about a religious thing, although it can be, its about having faith and a belief that things will work out. And if it doesn’t, so what?? We have the power to change the circumstance, if we so choose.

As I mentioned before it is the unknown that gets us. It’s the uncertainty and a lack of knowing that things will work out. The fact is, not everything will always work out. But if you believe you’re doing the right things for the right reasons, I can guarantee, more times than not things will work out!

If you lack trust in those around you then we need to create better associations. We have to be able to trust the people around us, whether it is a boss, coworker, friend or significant other. If trust is not built, then mistrust is the default response and mistrust often becomes evident in a resistance to change. An organization can never change and grow if we don’t believe in the leader.

Leaders can build trust by being honest and then by including people in the change process. Further, they can create an environment in which people believe the change can be implemented and managed for the benefit of all.

Example: When I first started in business.

5. People know change brings a new set of possibilities problems and responsibilities

Many people prefer for things to stay the way they are than for it to head off into a direction that is largely uncharted or unknown. By instinct, we know that a new way presents both possibilities, problems and responsibilities. The crazy thing is, most would rather reject the new possibilities if it also means avoiding the problems that may come along with it.

Remember the quote, “Better the devil you know than the devil you don’t.”

The other part in this is the responsibilities that come with change. We often think, “what will be expected of me if I change”? What if I fail? What will people think of me? This is all based in ego and fear. When we are growing and learning we inherently know that expectations will rise. Not just from others but ourselves. We become uncertain even if we are ready for change, that’s only natural therefore that we find excuses not to embrace the change. This is too bad because with added responsibilities come new opportunities and this is when life’s magic occurs.

So, what is Change?

Change ensures that bad situations end. Whether we are taking a course to improve our skills or if we are leaving an unhealthy relationship, we are going to be presented with the chance to enhance, develop and grow. We need to use “change” to push us forward.

Change is a natural and a constant part of life, especially in such a fast-paced world that we live in today. Not only is everything around you changing like the weather, the seasons, technology etc., but WE are changing every day. Everyday our thoughts, emotions, physical being is changing so we can adapt to our environment. The problem is many of us will try to resist the change therefore creating all sorts of problems for us mentally, physically and emotionally.

I want you to repeat after me; Change can be scary and difficult, but change is often good

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Most times change is so worth it. While not all change feels good, if we can learn how to handle and deal with change in a positive and constructive way we will begin to see change in a different light, change then becomes our friend.

Why should you embrace change?

Accepting and embracing change allows you to adapt better to change and become more flexible. The more we deal with change, the more used to it we become, the easier it becomes to deal with it.

Here are 10 reasons why we should seek, accept and embrace change.

1. We Expand Our Mindset

Change allows you to learn new things that you normally wouldn’t have learned with our previous mindset. Even if we experience failure and adversity, if we have the right mindset we will see failure as an opportunity to learn and grow.

2. Flexible and Adaptable

Accepting and embracing change allows us to be more flexible and adaptable. Change is always harder when we resist and reject it. Accepting change can make life easier and more enjoyable. This is how we unleash life’s magic.

3. Opportunities & Possibilities

When we freely embrace change in our lives the amount of new opportunities that begin to appear increase by a factor of 10. Change brings new opportunities and possibilities never previously imagined All of a sudden, we begin to attract things that once seemed impossible.

4. Self-Improvement

Self -Improvement is impossible without change. Change is necessary for growth, and development to take place. Change doesn’t have to be drastic or sudden it can be slow and steady to begin to see growth and improvement.

5. Unlocks Our Potential

 It is literally impossible to reach our full potential when we are stuck in sameness. Every time we change we leave the old-self behind as we acquire new skills and experiences. We begin to think what is possible? When our consciousness expands to this new way of thinking we begin to grow our self-confidence therefore making the impossible now seem possible. Only then can we truly reach our full potential.

6. Courage

When we embrace change, we begin to quiet the ANTS (automatic negative thoughts) therefore reducing and eventually eliminating the fears that can come with change. When change pushes us out of our comfort zone, our courage expands allowing us to face change with more certainty that success is the inevitable outcome.

7. Strengthen Our Grit

It has been said the most commonly held characteristic most successful people share is grit. It’s when we get knocked down or take a blow that we have the resiliency to get back up to move forward. Even in the face of overwhelming odds. Grit is the mental fortitude to never give up and to always proceed ahead. Embracing change is one of the best ways to strengthen our grit.

8. Embrace the Adversity

Adversity is an inevitable part of any journey. However, failure only occurs when we accept defeat or give up. When we accept and acknowledge that adversity is a good thing we disempower the negative emotions that come with the adversity. Accepting adversity as a normal part of the process provides the opportunity to learn and grow from each experience. Adversity is your friend.

9. Proactive vs Reactive

When we accept and embrace change as a normal part of life we can begin to live our lives on the offensive. We are then choosing when and how change will occur. This is being proactive, positioning us to come from a place of strength. If we are always having to react to our change in environment puts us on the defensive which can be stressful. This will ultimately cause us to experience the same negative thoughts we previously held about change.

10. Life Is More Fun

It is just a fact that our lives are far more interesting and fun when we easily accept and embrace change. We eliminate the boredom and sameness that comes from our inability to welcome change. With each new experience comes new emotions, most of which are positive. Think about a time you resisted trying something new. When you finally relented and gave into your hesitations about the experience, how did you feel? If you are like most people, you look back fondly and enthusiastically, with a feeling of joy and accomplishment. How did that help your confidence and self-esteem?

Finally, lets look at how you can positively respond to change. These are 8 steps you should work through the next time you find yourself resisting change.

8 Steps To Make Change Your Friend

1. Acknowledge and accept the change. … Do nothing more than acknowledge and accept the change at hand. This will help you minimize the negative emotions tied to the change.
2. Face your fears. … Don’t deny the fear you maybe facing. In most cases this is tied to a previous experience you had in your life. Remember, who you were then is not who you are now therefore you have the power to change the results.
3. Confront your feelings and seek support. … Ask for help! This is not a sign of weakness but strength. Seek out someone who has already dealt with the same problem and learn from their experience.
4. Stop the fearful thoughts and replace them with something positive. … Simply replace the negative thoughts you’re having with positive ones. Try anchoring the positive thoughts from a past experience in which you ha success. Visualize your outcome.
5. Be flexible and embracing of change. … The path you’re on is not necessarily where you will wind up so be flexible. Allow the process to play out and be aware of all the potential outcomes.
6. Be part of the change. … Be proactive. To get in control, take control and initiate the change. This will help with the anxiety.
7. Communication, communication and more communication. … Tell others how you’re feeling. You don’t have to go it alone.
8. Reduce Stress and anxiety… Remember everything is temporary and so is the pain of change. If you can consistently remind yourself the passage of pain will not appear to be as bad as we think.

You now have everything you need to be someone who readily embraces change so you can truly experience the joy and magic life has to offer.

Go Empower your dreams, Live Inspired, Be abundant and fulfill your Destiny,

Have an empowering week,

Dr. Jay Founder & CEO

PS

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